The trouble with body image
I would be lying if I said that I have never struggled with my body image. The relationship that I have with my body is definitely now healthy, but like all relationships, it has taken work. It still takes work. Some days have been harder than others and some periods have been darker than I’d care to admit but what I’ve learnt over the years, through my clinical practice and research, is that negative body image is something that most will struggle with at some point in their lives. Sadly, research shows that negative body image has become a normative experience in the lives of women.
The research.
Body image in its essence is the feelings, thoughts, attitudes, beliefs and perceptions that we hold around our body. It is cognitive in nature and it is something that is moulded and formed throughout our lives. Those with a ‘positive’ body image are individuals who accept, appreciate and respect their body. Let’s just call them body image super people! And from research we know that these superhumans will have higher rates of positive health outcomes compared to majority of us.
So, where does it go wrong for so many?
Well, we know that the media and society in general portrays a frighteningly strong message to us all - your physical appearance is important. No, scratch that, it is of the upmost importance. In western, modern society part of female attractiveness is to be thin. Thinness is equated to success, power and happiness - if you’re thin, you’re in. However, if you fall outside of this artificial and very subjective line (which is the majority of women), you fear, and often experience, criticism and rejection.
The major player here is shame. Shame is a multifaceted, self-conscious and socially shaped emotion. It acts as a warning sign that the self exists negatively in the minds of others and research agrees. Shame has a huge impact on body image dissatisfaction and disordered eating behaviours. It doesn’t take a neuroscientist to join the dots. However, speaking of neuroscientists, research now suggests that evolution has shaped the human brain to be extremely sensitive to social cues of approval and acceptance, particularly among women. So, if you feel that you’re likely to be met with rejection and criticism, you are more likely to hide or conceal your body or to avoid social situations and thus the negative body image dance begins.
Unfortunately, the news in this arena gets worse. We now know from MRIs that those with negative body image, particularly those who suffer with eating disorders, will overestimate the size of their own body. We call this cognitive distortion. More than this, they will experience stronger negative emotional and cognitive reactions when they look at their bodies, than those with a better body image. Thanks to neuroimaging, we have discovered that eating disordered individuals experience abnormal brain responses when looking at their own body and other female bodies.
The thing with cognitive distortion is if we are attuned to looking for “fatness” we ignore everything else and hone in on what we perceive as ‘fat’. If you stand naked in front of the mirror you will naturally draw your attention to the parts of your body that you like the least (hello post-mummy tummy), zoom in on them, and they will then appear larger. You can imagine how you will start to feel. And the reason for this is that our brains distort the image based on what we expect to see and this distortion will become even more magnified dependent on how we feel. So, if you’re having a bad day, the image you see reflected in the mirror will appear even worse than normal.
To add to this problem, the mirror itself will not give you an accurate reflection. If you were to stand in front of a mirror and place a piece of tape at the top of your head and your feet and then measure that distance, it would not equal your height. Essentially, we see a mini version of ourselves in the mirror, which distorts the image even further.
To sum that all up, society primes us to feel pretty miserable about how we look and gives us unrealistic, unobtainable images to strive for. Then, our brains distort the images we see based on how we feel and what we expect to see and responds accordingly. From that we can expect more psychological distress and negative health outcomes. The scary truth is that this is regarded as the ‘norm’ for women. This is where I draw the line. This isn’t something we are born with. This isn’t something that we have to live with. We can change the way we see ourselves. We can feel good in our bodies - and I know it’s possible, because I’ve walked that walk myself.
I look at my beautiful, healthy baby girl who loves her rolls. She boldly shows off her body, flaunting her cuteness and it makes me think, when will this change for her? When will she feel ashamed for proudly showing the world her curves and owning it? When will others stop seeing the little dimples in her bottom as the best thing in the world? From research, I know that at around the age of eight, those thoughts are likely to occur. So, here’s my challenge and my hope for the future of my children’s’ generation, rather than succumb to a life where they feel less than and see their bodies as something that they should feel ashamed of, lets change it up! To help, I’ve created four strategies that you can start implementing today to feel better in your body.
1 | retrain your attention
I want you to try this exercise. Focus your attention on your index finger. Notice all the tiny ridges, contours, the shape, your nail, any asymmetry, the colour, really hone in on what you can see. I want you to focus on your index finger for one minute.
Then I want you to ask yourself, have you ever noticed these things before? And as that minute continued, did you notice more or less things about your finger?
The majority of people who complete this exercise discover a whole host of things they had never noticed before about their index finger. I have done this experiment countless times and I now know that my finger is on the most bizarre angle!!! Something I would have never paid attention to previously. What we know from research is that, the more we zoom in on something, the more the negative aspects will amplify. When we apply that to our body image you can easily see how our attention goes straight to the parts we like the least and the negativity grows tenfold.
Your first step here is to learn how to retrain your attention. I want you to think of it as a workout, an attention workout. The more you do this, the stronger the muscle will grow and the easier it will become for you to redirect your attention when you need to.
The first thing to remember is that it’s completely normal for your mind to wander. It’s what minds do but when it does, gently draw your attention back to the task at hand.
Pick a mundane task, like doing the dishes, having a shower, folding the laundry - something that you would normally do on autopilot. This is the task you are going to practice your workout on.
Focus on your five senses whilst doing this task. What can you see, hear, taste, touch and smell and try to go into as much as detail as possible with each of these senses? See how long you can hold your attention on these individual senses before it wanders. Repeat everyday (if you can!).
Once you feel confident with this skill, try applying it when you look in a reflective surface or you feel uncomfortable or distressed about your body.
2 | Mirror time
As I mentioned earlier, the mirror is not your friend, particularly if you are having a hard day. So, the goal here is to make it as easy as possible for you.
Create a playlist before you look in a mirror - music can really lift your mood, so pick songs that make you feel good and will have you bopping along in no time before you even step foot in front of the reflective surface.
Work out how much time you really need to spend in front of the mirror and stick to it. You know how your clothes fit on your body, so try to keep your mirror time to just doing your hair and/or makeup.
Decorate the mirror - you can do this with photos or images. If you know that you are extremely critical of particular parts of your body, limit your exposure to those spaces (for now). Or it might just be putting beautiful flowers or a fragrant candle in that space. Try to make it as positive as possible.
3 | Question the images you see in the media
With the visual diet that we now consume, images that are portrayed by the media are fast and frequent. It is an important reminder that most of these are distorted, whether that be by filters or changing the shape of the face or body. It is important to question what you see. Have a look at the Dove Evolution video where they depict the process of the original image and what we see on a billboard. These images are not real nor attainable. Unfollow accounts that make you feel less than. Choose role models who are transparent and real. You can change what your media diet looks like, it’s as simple as the click of one button.
4 | Find your style
Another important part of increasing your body positivity is wearing and choosing clothes that you feel good and comfortable in. Pick clothes that suit your body type and help you to feel more confident. Try your best to ignore the sizing label because, let’s be honest, it varies so intensely between stores, and focus instead on how you feel when you put that piece of clothing on. Do you feel confident? Comfortable? Attractive? That will transfer to how you feel about you and conversely, how you feel about your body. So, throw out clothes that are too small (those secret stashes of clothes that you want to fit into when you meet your goal weight!) or too big, not your style or make you feel uncomfortable and get onwards and upwards with your body image goals.
