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Mind & Emotions, Personal Development Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions, Personal Development Gabby Heley

Why so many women feel like they’re “losing their mind” during perimenopause

Many women entering perimenopause begin experiencing brain fog, overwhelm, forgetfulness, anxiety, and emotional exhaustion, often wondering, “What is happening to me?” Emerging neuroscience research suggests menopause is not just a reproductive transition, but also a significant neurological one. This article explores the latest research on oestrogen, brain function, nervous system overload, and why so many women suddenly feel unlike themselves during this stage of life.

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Parenting & Family Gabby Heley Parenting & Family Gabby Heley

When you’re co-parenting with someone who parents very differently (and doesn’t respect your wishes)

Co-parenting with someone who dismisses your concerns or parents very differently can feel overwhelming, especially if you want to avoid family court. This article explores evidence-based, nervous system–informed strategies to reduce conflict, support your child, and navigate high-conflict dynamics with clarity and care.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

Dressing yourself: A shift from performance to feeling

Getting dressed can quietly become an act of performance—shaped by how you think you should look, rather than how you actually feel.

This article explores the psychology of body image and self-objectification, and offers a gentle shift: what if you began with the question, “how do I want to feel?”

If you’re feeling disconnected from yourself more broadly, it also links to a guided reflection designed to help you reconnect and explore your next chapter.

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Love & Relationships Gabby Heley Love & Relationships Gabby Heley

Twin Flames, intensity, and the nervous system: Why some connections feel undeniable and what psychology has to say about it.

Some relationships feel different from the very beginning… intense, consuming, and almost impossible to explain. Often described as “twin flames,” these connections can feel both deeply activating and unexpectedly safe at the same time.

This article explores the psychology and neuroscience behind these experiences, including attachment dynamics, nervous system activation, and the role of co-regulation. It offers a grounded, compassionate lens on why some connections feel so powerful and how to understand them without dismissing the meaning they hold.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

How EMDR helps the brain repair trauma: A neuroscience perspective on memory, safety, and the body

Trauma is not just about what happened, it’s about how the nervous system adapted in order to survive. Sometimes those adaptations slowly pull us away from our own inner sense of safety. This article explores how EMDR helps the brain repair trauma and what neuroscience is revealing about healing in the brain and body.

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Love & Relationships Gabby Heley Love & Relationships Gabby Heley

Limerence vs Love: How to tell the difference between obsession and real attachment

Limerence vs Love: How to Tell the Difference Between Obsession and Real Attachment

There’s a particular kind of emotional experience that can feel incredibly powerful.

You can’t stop thinking about someone.
You replay conversations.
Your mood rises and falls depending on whether they message you.

Many people assume this intensity means they’ve found something deeply meaningful.

But sometimes what we’re experiencing isn’t love.

Sometimes it’s limerence, a psychological state of intense emotional fixation that can feel very similar to connection, but is actually driven by uncertainty and the brain’s reward system.

Understanding the difference between limerence and real attachment can change how we approach relationships, and what we start to look for in connection.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

Addiction isn’t about substances. It’s about connection.

This blog explores addiction through a different lens, one that shifts the focus away from substances and toward connection.

Drawing on the Rat Park study and modern neuroscience, it examines how environments of isolation, chronic stress, and disconnection shape nervous system regulation, and why substances can become a stand-in for safety and relief. It also looks at what happens when we change the conditions around addiction, including real-world examples where connection, dignity, and community led to better outcomes.

At its core, this blog invites a reframe: Addiction is not a moral failing or lack of willpower, but often a nervous system adaptation to unmet relational needs.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

You’re not going backwards, your nervous system is responding: Understanding plateaus, flare-ups, and “regression” through a nervous-system lens

“I thought I was past this.”
When old patterns resurface, it can feel like failure, but from a nervous system perspective, it’s often a sign of response, not regression. This blog explores why healing isn’t linear, why flare-ups happen, and how understanding your nervous system can reduce shame and support sustainable change.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

Why safety comes before change: A nervous-system explanation for why pushing harder often backfires

Why doesn’t change happen, even when we know what we want to shift?
This blog explores why safety, not effort or motivation, is the foundation for change, and how the nervous system prioritises protection over growth. A neuroscience-informed look at why pushing harder often backfires, and what actually helps change unfold.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

Your brain is an algorithm: A neuroscience-informed take on change

Change doesn’t happen because we think harder, it happens when the nervous system updates what it expects.

This blog explores a neuroscience-informed perspective on change, reframing “manifesting” as the brain’s adaptive algorithm rather than a mindset problem. A compassionate look at why insight alone isn’t enough and what actually supports sustainable change.

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Love & Relationships Gabby Heley Love & Relationships Gabby Heley

Divorce: Why it might be for you + how to talk to your kids about it

Divorce doesn’t mess up kids.  Yup, you read right, divorce isn’t going to ruin your kids.  However, unexplained tension and conflict, that always feels unsafe for kids. And here’s the thing, in so many families, divorce is actually a moment of relief for kids. I know it was for me… because it means that you’re no longer in a home that is filled with all of that tension, or yelling, or conflict. So as we unpack this topic, please remember that.

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Love & Relationships Gabby Heley Love & Relationships Gabby Heley

What you can do if things are feeling less than in the bedroom...

Sex in itself is such a simple concept. Yet, somehow, it can become very complicated.

Perhaps you just don’t enjoy it anymore? Maybe you’ve never had an orgasm?  Maybe you can’t switch that head of yours off and really be in the moment? Perhaps you’re not attracted to your partner sexually anymore? Or maybe, there’s just no desire there, despite you really wanting there to be? The issues with sex can be limitless. If this is you, read on dear reader.

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Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley Mind & Emotions Gabby Heley

How trauma corrupts our brain + body: The real score

Trauma is ubiquitous in our society. It is estimated that 75% of Australians will experience a potentially traumatic event in their lifetime. That 1 in 4 Australian women will experience violence by an intimate partner, and that 1 in 5 women will experience sexual violence. It’s estimated that up to two thirds of young people have been exposed to at least one traumatic event by the time they turn 16! And that 1 in 8 Australian’s have experienced child abuse. 

These statistics are alarming and what many of us don’t realise is that these experiences leave traces on our biology and identity, with devastating social consequences. In fact, the Center for Disease Control and Prevention calculate that childhood trauma is our single largest public health issue—more costly than cancer or heart disease—and one that is largely preventable by early prevention and intervention. So what is trauma? And what is its true cost?

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