The Harmful Side of Worry
I never thought of myself of a worrier but about 15 years ago a colleague of mine noted that I was thinking 20 steps ahead about anything that might go wrong. I thought to myself, surely that can’t be a bad thing, I’m prepared for the worst case scenario. I’m planning ahead, anticipating where things may go wrong? Of course, I now know just how problematic worry can be. It seems harmless … until it isn’t. How many sleepless nights have you had through worrying? How much has worry cost your mood, your problem-solving ability or concentration?
Worry is a natural and normal part of the human condition. From an evolutionary perspective it has played a role in our survival and has helped us cope with many of the challenges we face today. Worry has, after all led us to take precautions against illness, injury or accident. So, on some level it helps us to safeguard ourselves against danger. Unfortunately though, worry easily moves from being healthy and adaptive to being a preoccupation with perceived threats or an inability to tolerate uncertainty.
We need to ask ourselves how a mental state that is layered with so much anxiety can be considered helpful or rewarding? Each time we worry and nothing bad happens, our brains connect worry with preventing harm and a perpetuating cycle beings.
Unpacking worry
Essentially worry is a cognitive process that occurs in the mind. It's when we mentally anticipate or prepare for a potential negative outcome in the future. So, let’s say you take your car in for a service. You might think to yourself, “What if there are major problems with my car? What if it’s really expensive and I can’t afford it? Maybe I could talk to the mechanic about a payment plan? What if they don’t accept a payment plan? I could be without a car for a really long time before I can afford it?” You can imagine how that running thread of worry is going to make you feel…
What I really want to highlight here is the different components of worry. The first is thinking about what negative things could happen and their potential consequences and the second is problem solving, well making mental attempts to prepare for these unknown scenarios.
And we know that there are certain traits of worry:
Worry typically starts off as “what if” questions, which makes sense given that when you worry you’re trying to think about possible outcomes. Have a little think about ‘what if’ questions you might ask yourself?
Worries are thoughts about the future. Even if you’re worrying about the past, when you’re worrying, you’re concerned about the future implications of that past event!
Worries are ALWAYS negative!!!
Five hundred years ago, Michel de Montaigne said: "My life has been filled with terrible misfortune; most of which never happened." Now, there's research that proves this. There was a study that looked into how many of our imagined calamities never materialize. In this study, individuals were asked to write down their worries over an extended period of time and then identify which of their imagined misfortunes did not actually happen.
Lo and behold, it turns out that 85 percent of what people worried about never happened, and with the 15 percent that did happen, 79 percent of participants discovered either they could handle the difficulty better than expected, or the difficulty taught them a lesson worth learning. So, this means that 97 percent of what you worry over is not much more than your brain convincing you that that thought is worth paying attention to.
Montaigne's quote has made people laugh for five centuries, but worry is no joke. The stress it generates can cause serious problems. The stress hormones that worry releases into your brain has been linked to shrinking brain mass, lowering your IQ, being prone to heart disease, cancer and premature aging, predicting martial problems, family dysfunction and depression, and making seniors more likely to develop dementia and Alzheimer’s.
If we could get a handle on the worry that habitually, incessantly and often unconsciously seizes hold of our mind, we would greatly increase the odds of living a longer, happier, and more successful life. The good news is that new research has found that you can rewire your brain to stop worrying!
Unfortunately providing you with those magical skills will require a little more than a blog (check out The Happiness Hub when we dive into practical exercises to help you with this) but I can give you a tool to help calm your nervous system down.
When we are constantly worried and on edge our nervous system is on high alert. Mental tension will ultimately translate into physical tension, which can add more fuel to the fire because we can feel like we should be worrying because we feel so out of sorts! Mindfulness or progressive muscle relaxation can be really beneficial here.
Try this 1-minute exercise, set a little timer for one minute and then go:
Sit down with your legs planted firmly on the floor - try to sit up but aim not to be too rigid here.
Put your hands in any position that feels balanced and still.
During this minute I want you to simply focus on your breathing, moment by moment.
During this minute it will be completely normal for your mind to wander, that’s what minds do. It doesn’t mean you’re doing it wrong. But as soon as you notice your mind wander, gently bring your awareness back to your breath.
When you’re ready, press go on the timer and close your eyes.
As I stated, mindfulness is a wonderful strategy to counteract worry. Mindfulness emphasizes focusing on the present, with an open and non-judgmental attitude - an attitude, I might add, that is helpful on a myriad of levels. Think of it this way, worry is by definition about the future, so learning to train your attention to the now and to focus on the present is a powerful technique to reduce your worries. You can try activities like mindful bathing to help practice trying to stay in the present moment and focusing on your senses (what you can see, hear, taste, touch and smell).
Remember that worry is a lot like meditating. Our thoughts will return to our worries, just as our minds will wander when we practice mindfulness or meditation. We can set an intention and practice to gain strength with that intention. We cannot eliminate all of our worries, but we can choose where we learn to direct our attention.
